so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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