No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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