my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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