i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
