Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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