Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Randomize