he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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