strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
