Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
