At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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