i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
