I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
