Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
