did you get engaged???
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
