So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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