goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
