you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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