We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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