If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Im part way to drunk.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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