I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
