just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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