the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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