Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
