I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
the raccoons are back...
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