Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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