I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
