I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
