I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
