So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
