I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i wish my penis had a tongue
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
