i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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