When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
