you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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