i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
