Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
