Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
