saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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