my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
