We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
