found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
