i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
