Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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