but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I think I just sharted jello shots
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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