do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
