he looks like a really good dad on facebook
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
