I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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