You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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