it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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