Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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