It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
