She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize