You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
