the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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