ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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