He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
