Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
