Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
