I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
