nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
