I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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