i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
