I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
