What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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