so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
