yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
