I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
