dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
