sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Found your dick twin last night
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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