i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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