VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
