I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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