Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I know her cup size but not her name....
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