I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Dick very happy bro
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
