Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
