my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
