He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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